Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Monday, June 26, 2006
500 Pin-Ups Continued!
Here's some more selections from that book of 500 Pin-Ups I've been scanning from. You can check out part one of this post right here. Enjoy!
Still more to come!
Still more to come!
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
500 Pin-Up Pics!
Special welcome to all ya'll from Earnest Little Cartoon Guy! Thanks for dropping in!
Got this little oddity at a flea market a few years back. The cover explains that these pics are for artists, photography students, and collectors, y' know, for educational and historical value of course! A mild bit of expliotation sleaze simmers through these pictures that look like they were taken by an amatuer perv who offered these girls about 20 bucks each to pose in his living room. Naturally, I love em'!
Update: I've got some more scanned and posted, so make sure you check out part 2 and part 3!
Got this little oddity at a flea market a few years back. The cover explains that these pics are for artists, photography students, and collectors, y' know, for educational and historical value of course! A mild bit of expliotation sleaze simmers through these pictures that look like they were taken by an amatuer perv who offered these girls about 20 bucks each to pose in his living room. Naturally, I love em'!
Update: I've got some more scanned and posted, so make sure you check out part 2 and part 3!
Monday, June 12, 2006
HEY KIDS! GIANT PLASTIC SHEETS!
Other things you could do with giant plastic sheets....
Have a pudding wrestling party.
Seal your home from a chemical attack.
Build a backyard green house.
Soap it up and make a slip n' slide.
Stretch it tight across a hallway and trick people into walking into it.
Any other suggestions?
Saturday, June 10, 2006
The End is Nigh...Again!
Sometimes I find myself wishing the apocalypse would hurry up and come already. I try to see the positive in most things, and when you think about it, if civilization ended today, you wouldn't have to go to work tommorow. Also consider that your bills and credit history would be gone, you could make your boss your post-end-of-the-world bitch, you could wear face paint and carry guns in the street, and you could convert your truck into an armored tank with the bodies of your enemies tied to the hood. Okay, so sure you'd have to fight off hordes of biker gangs, ancient dragons, flesh-eating zombies and avoid exposure to radiation put hey, you gotta take the bad with the good, right?
I think the innate human desire to have a radical change in one's life is why post-apocalyptic movies are so popular. We go to work, say hello to our neighbors, pay our bills and get annoyed with people who cut us off on the highway, and a major disaster represents the ultimate escape from all that. Plus it's the true test of our will to survive. Whenever I watch the Mad Max films or a good zombie flick, I can't help but think what I'd do if I were stuck in a house under seige by the walking dead or if insane bikers with mohawks wanted to steal my gasoline. I also wonder sometimes if maybe I need to start stockpiling shotgun shells , fuel, and face paint...y' know, just in case. And tell me this, does it keep you up at night worrying about whether or not you'll be able to get a fair hearing at the ape tribunal?
Here's a few of my favorite moments in post-apocalyptic pop-culture...
Night Of The living Dead : "They're coming to get you Barbara!" And so a teasing joke leads to terror as the dead come to life and George Romero set the bar for all zombie movies to come. With three sequels and a remake, (not to mention a remake of one of the sequels) we've learned that slow moving, dull witted creatures with a taste for flesh can indeed bring civilization to it's knees. What's more frightening, that people will become zombies and stalk us, or that we to have band together with people we don't like to survive?
Damnation Alley : You can't go wrong with a movie that opens with a guy fighting giant scorpions while riding a dirt bike. There's one bright side to this adventure in a nuclear wasteland, you still get to go on road trips! And this film featured a prime example of a really cool giant armored, futuristic tank-thing, which was later re-used in a gasoline commercial.... Also notable is that the Roger Zelany sci-fi novel that inspired this flick also inspired a song by cult prog-rock band Hawkwind.
Escape from New York : A film that brings you a the ultimate version of hard time and gives new meaning to the term "prison bitch". How about being dropped into a sealed up city with the worst scum of the Earth waiting to show you your place in their food chain? And get this, the Duke Of New York is Issac Hayes, and this time he's gonna tell you to shut your mouth. This John Carpenter movie rules, featuring Kurt Russell as the ultimate bad-ass anti-hero with cult-movie cast favorites Harry Dean Stanton, Donald Pleasance, and Adrienne Barbeau, one of the breast...um, I mean best B-actresses ever....
Thundarr The Barbarian : Somehow somebody managed to convince NBC to include a cartoon about a barbarian, a wookie-lookin' thing, and a sorceress fighting for good in a post-apocalyptic wasteland in it's Saturday morning line-up. Every weekend kids got to see famous monuments all over America fallen down and covered in vines while a guy wearing animal skins smashed up evil robot orbs and mutant beasts. Let's face it, the 80's were a good time to be a kid, and Saturday mornings were good to us. And one more reason why Thundarr The Barbarian was so cool? The series' visual look was based mostly on designs by the late, great, Jack Kirby.
Mad Max : I think the Mad Max flicks contain the most bleak scenario for post-war living I've ever seen, but at the same time one of the most fashionable. Basically in the future all anybody has to wear are shoulder pads, fetish outfits and left-overs from Hot Topic, with mohawks and face-paint to accessorize the new survivalist fashions. Gas and shotgun shells are worth more than gold and be can used as bargining chips, and road rage has gone far beyond flipping off the guy who's driving too slow in the passing lane. Even the kid sidekick in the movie is a rabid freak who's devolved down the animal chain, or is that Ted Nugent's son? You can learn pretty much every thing about the Mad Max movies at this website here, and you can check a badass reproduction of Max's Interceptor right here.
The War Of The Worlds : The original H.G. Wells novel kicked off one of the great staples of science fiction, the alien invasion. Orson Wells caused a genuine panic when he adapted his infamous radio broadcast, and after failed attempts by Cecil B. Demille and Hitchcock, George Pal finally pulled off one of the greatest science-fiction end of the world stories of all time with his 1953 film. The true kicker of this story is that the aliens were gonna win and there was nothing we could do about it. Whole cities were vanquished and any attempt to stop them was a failure. The human race survived because we got lucky. The unstoppable alien invasion is an often imitated device for lesser apocalyptic movies like Battlefield Earth (yes, it really is as bad as you've heard) and sometimes comes packaged as a blatant rip-off like Independence Day, but the original remain the best. Word has it that a new War Of The Worlds is being developed by Spielberg, could it be E.T. really planned on kicking our ass all along?
Planet Of The Apes : Hands down, the greatest fall of man movie ever made, featuring the best Twilight Zone style ending ever seen on film, and starring one of the greatest actors of all time, the man himself, Charlton Heston. There is no finer moment than seeing that camera pan away from Taylor and revealing the films horrible secret....."YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP. DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"
If you want more end-of-the-world goodness, go check out Post-Apocalyptic Media, a massive site dedicated all things apocalyptic, be it Nuclear War, Disease, Aliens, or a good old fashioned Zombie infestaton, here’s the ultimate website for anything to do with the apocalypse! Movies, books, videogames, you name it, they got ya covered!
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Vacancies Along The Grand Strand...
I love Mrytle Beach, South Carolina. It makes no pretentions about it being any place other than a slightly seedy tourist trap that openly embraces bikers and cheesy t-shirt shops. It's a true paradise.
While on an an off-season trip (when you see the real beach without the "tourist season" cleaned-up sheen) a few years back, I took a few pics of the mostly empty motels along the Grand Strand....
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Cannibal Apocalypse Is That Kind Of Movie...
Just a few observations and tidbits about a classic Italian sleaze flick I watched awhile back...
Cannibal Apocalypse is the kind of movie that only Italian filmmakers like Antonio Margheriti could make.
It's the kind of movie that stars a man like the great John Saxon, the man who's starred in such classics as Enter The Dragon, Battle Beyond The Stars, The Girl Who Knew Too Much, Blood Beach, and two of the Nightmare On Elm Street movies. And oh yeah, a role on Dynasty!
It's the kind of a movie where social commentary about war hides in a gauze of exploitation cheese!
It's the kind of a movie where the biker gang only have crappy dirtbikes.
It's the kind of a movie that was banned in several countries. It's technically still banned in the UK but only cause nobody cares enough to re-submit it.
It's the kind of a movie where the the same damn bottle of whiskey appears in at least three different scenes with different characters in three different places!
It's the kind of movie where in one scene the contents of that same bottle of whiskey are poured into the mouth of a partially eaten dead guy, while the killer smiles and says "You don't know what you're missing..... pal."
It's the kind of movie where one of the tortured Vietnam vets with the cannibalistic virus happens to be named Charlie Bukowski, and is played by legendary Italian sleaze star Giovanni Radice, aka "John Morghen".
It's the kind of a movie where the slutty girl next door wants to hook up with you, but your urges have more to do with eating her flesh.
It's the kind of a movie where when you have a corpse laying around, you might as well try out some power tools on it.
It's the kind of movie where a seemingly mismatched funk soundtrack with plenty of wah-wah guitar grooves to the mayhem and gore!
It's the kind of movie where the hospital nurse doesn't really want to kiss you, just bite off your tongue in a real sexy way.
It's the kind of movie where that demonstrates that when bloodthirsty cannibals are running from the man, they naturally hide in the sewers.
It's the kind of a movie where the cops chase after the cannibals in the sewer with a flamethrower, because, y' know, cops do normally have flamethrowers for such contingencies. (then again, maybe that's just the same flamethrower from the Vietnam flashback sequence.)
It's the kind of a movie where you get the innovative "shotgun hole through the back and out the chest" point of view camera angle.
It's the kind of movie where John Saxon has to decide if he loves his wife enough to let her go, or to let her stay and eat her later.
It's the kind of movie that's been released under more titles than any other movie. You might also see this classic film with such names as....
Apocalipse Cannibal
Apocalipsis caníbal (Spain)
Apocalisse domani (Italy)
Cannibal Apocalipsis
Cannibal Apocalypse
Cannibal Massacre
Cannibals in the City
Cannibals in the Street
Invasion of the Fleshhunters
Savage Apocalypse
Savage Slaughterers
The Cannibals Are in the Streets
The Slaughterers
Virus (Spain)
Yeah, it's that kind of movie!
Cannibal Apocalypse is the kind of movie that only Italian filmmakers like Antonio Margheriti could make.
It's the kind of movie that stars a man like the great John Saxon, the man who's starred in such classics as Enter The Dragon, Battle Beyond The Stars, The Girl Who Knew Too Much, Blood Beach, and two of the Nightmare On Elm Street movies. And oh yeah, a role on Dynasty!
It's the kind of a movie where social commentary about war hides in a gauze of exploitation cheese!
It's the kind of a movie where the biker gang only have crappy dirtbikes.
It's the kind of a movie that was banned in several countries. It's technically still banned in the UK but only cause nobody cares enough to re-submit it.
It's the kind of a movie where the the same damn bottle of whiskey appears in at least three different scenes with different characters in three different places!
It's the kind of movie where in one scene the contents of that same bottle of whiskey are poured into the mouth of a partially eaten dead guy, while the killer smiles and says "You don't know what you're missing..... pal."
It's the kind of movie where one of the tortured Vietnam vets with the cannibalistic virus happens to be named Charlie Bukowski, and is played by legendary Italian sleaze star Giovanni Radice, aka "John Morghen".
It's the kind of a movie where the slutty girl next door wants to hook up with you, but your urges have more to do with eating her flesh.
It's the kind of a movie where when you have a corpse laying around, you might as well try out some power tools on it.
It's the kind of movie where a seemingly mismatched funk soundtrack with plenty of wah-wah guitar grooves to the mayhem and gore!
It's the kind of movie where the hospital nurse doesn't really want to kiss you, just bite off your tongue in a real sexy way.
It's the kind of movie where that demonstrates that when bloodthirsty cannibals are running from the man, they naturally hide in the sewers.
It's the kind of a movie where the cops chase after the cannibals in the sewer with a flamethrower, because, y' know, cops do normally have flamethrowers for such contingencies. (then again, maybe that's just the same flamethrower from the Vietnam flashback sequence.)
It's the kind of a movie where you get the innovative "shotgun hole through the back and out the chest" point of view camera angle.
It's the kind of movie where John Saxon has to decide if he loves his wife enough to let her go, or to let her stay and eat her later.
It's the kind of movie that's been released under more titles than any other movie. You might also see this classic film with such names as....
Apocalipse Cannibal
Apocalipsis caníbal (Spain)
Apocalisse domani (Italy)
Cannibal Apocalipsis
Cannibal Apocalypse
Cannibal Massacre
Cannibals in the City
Cannibals in the Street
Invasion of the Fleshhunters
Savage Apocalypse
Savage Slaughterers
The Cannibals Are in the Streets
The Slaughterers
Virus (Spain)
Yeah, it's that kind of movie!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Monday, June 05, 2006
I Wanna Be Gary Busey When I Grow Up...
Any movie with a corrupt sheriff that terrorizes a small town, para-millitary biker gangs , a good guy with a four-wheel drive pick-up outfitted with metal plates, machine guns and grenade launchers, and set to a hard-driving 80's rock soundtrack automatically rules in my book.
By any normal criteria of cinema, the movie Eye Of The Tiger is technically a lousy movie. But in the genre of "Vietnam-Vets-who-come-back-to-their-hometown-to-fight-the-corrupt-Sheriff-and-Biker-Gang" flicks this one's as good as most that I've seen. The king of the genre of course, is the classic small-town epic, Billy Jack. But then again, Billy Jack didn't have Gary Busey in it.
I think I've decided (with the exception of the coke habit and spousal abuse) that I'd like to be Gary Busey when I grow up. I'll have to set some serious goals if I wanna be a slightly scary, belligerent crazy dude that refuses to wear a motorcycle helmet and talks about Jesus a lot. A guy who can score an Oscar nomination and still have time for movies like Point Break, Predator 2, and adding his voice to Grand Theft Auto, Vice City. And let us not forget the highest honor in entertainment today......a reality television show. And while we're at it, can we all agree that there's no way in hell Mel Gibson could take Busey in a fight?
So here's to you, Gary, stay crazy!
Here's some other films in the "hero-takes-on-the-bad-guys-who-bully-a-small-town" genre...
Billy Jack: The blueprint of the genre, without question. Billy Jack is a classic late-night movie with a half-white, half-Native-American Green Beret who preaches pacifism.............by beating the tar out of the bad guys. It's a bizarre, left-wing sermon of a movie among a right-wing genre. Written, directed, and starring Tom Laughlin, who in real life continues to be all over the map as he speaks at self-help seminars, tries to make a new Billy jack movie, and oh yeah, runs for President.
Walking Tall: Very loosely based on the true story of Buford Pusser, a wrestler turned hero turned Sheriff when he decides to take on crime in his small town. Walking Tall went from a ruthlessly violent film trilogy to a short lived television series. Pusser and his baseball bat become the embodiment of bad-ass justice as he smashes crime the old fashioned way. And naturally, the inveitable slick but inferior Hollywood remake has come to pass, featuring..............The Rock.
First Blood: Even as a kid, the first Rambo movie struck me as being one of the most bizarrely irresponsible flicks I had ever seen. Basically it goes like this. If you're a Vietnam veteran turned drifter who feels shunned by society, and you finally hit the last straw when the small town Sheriff with an iron hand and a pack of mean-spirited deputies tell you to get your ass out of town, then it's time to declare war. In an attempt to add meaning to Rambo's rampage, Stallone delivers a classic mumbling speech at the end that makes no sense whatsoever. Just to make sure you got the point, Rambo returned in a sequel where he singlehandedly wins the Vietnam war. Naturally after that, there was nothing else to do but become a kid-friendly cartoon character.
Roadhouse: This movie is a made for late-nite cable classic. I have always wanted to dislike Patrick Swayze, writing him off as a nancy-boy for crap-fest date-movie dreck like Dirty Dancing and Ghost. But dammit, I can't as long as he also does guilty-pleasure movies that kick ass like Point Break and Red Dawn. (and good movies like Donnie Darko) I'll add Roadhouse to his guilty pleasure catalog. It's easy the best zen-philosopher-with-a-degree-who-becomes-a-"cooler"-beating-the-bejeezus-out-of-small-town-thugs movie I've ever seen. Never has a movie created such an idealized image of a bouncer, certainly not like the fat guy with the Slayer t-shirt that most bars hire to roll you out on the curb in a trash can. I can at least take comfort in the fact that I'm not the only member of the Roadhouse cult, as evidenced by the Off-Broadway musical production currently running....
And of course, with the wonder that is syndicated cable television you can bet at least one of these fine classics of cinema is on right now!
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Midnight, Violence, Rock n' Roll!
Well, I can pretty much quit watching movies because I have officially seen the greatest movie I'll ever see in my entire freakin' life!
Oh how I've yearned to see this flick since I first heard about it a few years ago. A rock n' roll-sci-fi-zombie-romantic-action-comedy starring the incredible, awe-inspiring, sonic reducing garage rocks godz Guitar Wolf! And no, I was not at all disappointed, in fact, it exceeded everything I've ever wanted to see in a movie. There really is no point in trying to top this peak of cinematic accomplishment.
Guitar Wolf are truly the successors to the legacies of Santo, Mil Mascaras, Elvis, and the Ramones as legendary figures who have risen to heights beyond their primary trades. (body-slammin' and rockin', respectively) These rockgods join the ranks of true-life superheros who have summoned abilities far surpassing the deeds of mere men. Mere men do not wear sunglasses indoors without being laughed at. Guitar Wolf, however, wear sunglasses wherever they damn well feel like it. I bow to their greatness on screen with the same loyalty I have freely given over to their rock n' roll.
More amazing still, with all the exploding heads, burning cars, furious gunplay, flaming motorcycles, flesh-eating zombies, and thunderous rock n' roll, director Tetsuro Takeuchi causally works in a highly unusual romantic subplot of tolerance and acceptance that is completely out of the blue, but yet works wonderfully without seeming like a force fed ""very special episode" moment. You see, Guitar Wolf can teach us out to rock out and how to love...
Nothing else I'll ever see could ever be this good, I'm never watching another movie again...
...until this weekend.
Here's the trailer. Be prepared for an overdose of pure awesome...
And and warm rest in piece for Guitar Wolf bassist Hideaki "Billy" Sekiguchi. He died of a heart attack at only 38 years old.
Serji dropped out of his "Guitar Wolf" persona to offer this statement over the loss of his bandmate and friend.
Rock On, Billy Wolf...
Oh how I've yearned to see this flick since I first heard about it a few years ago. A rock n' roll-sci-fi-zombie-romantic-action-comedy starring the incredible, awe-inspiring, sonic reducing garage rocks godz Guitar Wolf! And no, I was not at all disappointed, in fact, it exceeded everything I've ever wanted to see in a movie. There really is no point in trying to top this peak of cinematic accomplishment.
Guitar Wolf are truly the successors to the legacies of Santo, Mil Mascaras, Elvis, and the Ramones as legendary figures who have risen to heights beyond their primary trades. (body-slammin' and rockin', respectively) These rockgods join the ranks of true-life superheros who have summoned abilities far surpassing the deeds of mere men. Mere men do not wear sunglasses indoors without being laughed at. Guitar Wolf, however, wear sunglasses wherever they damn well feel like it. I bow to their greatness on screen with the same loyalty I have freely given over to their rock n' roll.
More amazing still, with all the exploding heads, burning cars, furious gunplay, flaming motorcycles, flesh-eating zombies, and thunderous rock n' roll, director Tetsuro Takeuchi causally works in a highly unusual romantic subplot of tolerance and acceptance that is completely out of the blue, but yet works wonderfully without seeming like a force fed ""very special episode" moment. You see, Guitar Wolf can teach us out to rock out and how to love...
Nothing else I'll ever see could ever be this good, I'm never watching another movie again...
...until this weekend.
Here's the trailer. Be prepared for an overdose of pure awesome...
And and warm rest in piece for Guitar Wolf bassist Hideaki "Billy" Sekiguchi. He died of a heart attack at only 38 years old.
Serji dropped out of his "Guitar Wolf" persona to offer this statement over the loss of his bandmate and friend.
Rock On, Billy Wolf...
Crazy People Story #36
orginally written on Feb. 23rd, 2005
Since I don't live within the city limits anymore, I don't meet crazy people as often as I used to, but this evening I got treated to a prime dose of uncut kookiness.
I just finished filling up the tank at the Chevron close to my house when this dirty, lanky cat walks up to me and starts yellin'...
"Hey, did you move my truck?
"What are you talkin' about, man?", I asked back.
I had my truck right here (points at my truck) and somebody moved it over there!" (points at the van parked at the next pump) "I know you moved it!"
"I didn't move your van, man."
BULLSHIT! You moved my truck!, he said, stepping up aggresively closer.
I stepped up on the curb of the pump to get a little height advantage on him and tried the logic approach. "Dude, tell me how I moved it."
"You fuckin' moved it!"
"How did I do it? With what keys did I move your truck?
The dude stepped up and got up in my face and said quietly. "That's what I'd like to know".
Looking in this cat's burning eyes, I confirmed my suspision that he was freakin' nuts. He absolutely believed I was his tormentor. I wasn't going to be able to talk him down, and at this point it looked like he might be wanting a fight. (Don't fight crazy people, kids.)
So instead I switched gears and pulled a politician's trick. I switched blame and pointed at the convenience store and suggested in an accusatory tone...
"Man, I'd go in there and ask them what's going on around here"
He turned around and walked back to van, grumbling under his breath, "Maybe I will". With that he climbed into the driver's seat and fumbled with his keys.
I jumped in my truck, started it up and hauled ass out of the parking lot. I took the time to drive a weird detour just in case he might follow me home.
Damn crazy people.
Since I don't live within the city limits anymore, I don't meet crazy people as often as I used to, but this evening I got treated to a prime dose of uncut kookiness.
I just finished filling up the tank at the Chevron close to my house when this dirty, lanky cat walks up to me and starts yellin'...
"Hey, did you move my truck?
"What are you talkin' about, man?", I asked back.
I had my truck right here (points at my truck) and somebody moved it over there!" (points at the van parked at the next pump) "I know you moved it!"
"I didn't move your van, man."
BULLSHIT! You moved my truck!, he said, stepping up aggresively closer.
I stepped up on the curb of the pump to get a little height advantage on him and tried the logic approach. "Dude, tell me how I moved it."
"You fuckin' moved it!"
"How did I do it? With what keys did I move your truck?
The dude stepped up and got up in my face and said quietly. "That's what I'd like to know".
Looking in this cat's burning eyes, I confirmed my suspision that he was freakin' nuts. He absolutely believed I was his tormentor. I wasn't going to be able to talk him down, and at this point it looked like he might be wanting a fight. (Don't fight crazy people, kids.)
So instead I switched gears and pulled a politician's trick. I switched blame and pointed at the convenience store and suggested in an accusatory tone...
"Man, I'd go in there and ask them what's going on around here"
He turned around and walked back to van, grumbling under his breath, "Maybe I will". With that he climbed into the driver's seat and fumbled with his keys.
I jumped in my truck, started it up and hauled ass out of the parking lot. I took the time to drive a weird detour just in case he might follow me home.
Damn crazy people.
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